The Divorce : A ONE shot
by Zosie
Summary: Bella is determined to get her divorce and move on ,now if she can just persuade Edward. M for lemon.  Yes, only one.


**Okay, I still can't get into my open stories but I won't give up. Here's a little ONE shot.**

The Divorce

One Shot.

"Visitor for you, Mr Cullen." said Jessica, thrusting her rack out alarmingly.

I looked up and removed my reading glasses when I saw who had come to see me.

"Oh, if it isn't my beautiful wife. Good afternoon, Bella, lovely to see you. Please, sit down."

"Edward!"

Oops.

"What's the problem, love?" I asked politely.

"Don't call me 'love' and you know what the problem is. Sign the fucking papers and let us put this sham of a marriage behind us and move on."

Her face was kind of puce, I guess you would call it. Bright red crossed with deep purple. It can't be healthy, getting that upset.

"Sorry, not happening, now is there anything else I can do for you? Shall we go out and grab a coffee?" I suggested.

"Edward Cullen, you will sign those papers and you will divorce me and I will marry Felix, whether you like it or not."

"Not." I chose out of the two alternatives.

"Edwarddd." She was sagging,losing the will to scream, that's always good. I like her a lot better when she is quiet and sweet, but that doesn't happen a lot. Especially since she moved out of our lovely house that was built to her specifications and decorated by my Mother and Bella together, and now it is a big, empty mausoleum that I rattle around in alone at night.

But I like that house and I will not sell it.

"I don't want anything. I don't care if you keep the houses and the cars and the fucking money in the joint account. I will go live on the street if that's what it takes, just please sign the papers."

I smiled and put my glasses back on and picked up the Financial Times again.

Gold is up, that's always a good sign.

"Edward!" she growled warningly.

"Yes, my love?" I lowered the paper.

"Are you even listening to me?"

"No, my love."

"Why not?" she asked, sounding resigned.

"I didn't like what you were saying so I tuned out. And you were repeating yourself so I had already heard what you wanted and elected not to give it to you."

Bella stood and leaned towards me over my desk.

"I want to marry Felix." she stated.

"I want you to come home and stop being so silly, and have a baby. There, now we both know what the other wants. Communication, Bella, the backbone of any relationship."

She turned and stomped to the door, not very ladylike, but I am willing to overlook it this once.

"I will be home for dinner at 7. What's on the menu for tonight?" I asked politely.

"I will be eating whatever Felix chooses for me off the menu at Deon's, I imagine you will heat something in the microwave and I hope you don't choke on it because that would be so...convenient. I mean, inconvenient, of course. All that fuss, organizing your funeral, having to wear black, it makes my skin too sallow." she snarked.

"Then I shall be sure not to choke, my love. Have a nice day."

My door slammed shut and I buzzed Jessica in.

"Send my lovely wife a dozen red roses, there's a good girl. And Jessica.."

"Yes Mr Cullen." she simpered, ever hopeful.

"Please take some money from petty cash and buy yourself some larger blouses, you seem to have outgrown the ones you have been wearing lately."

Ooh, another door slammer, girls today have very few manners.

My phone rang and I lifted the receiver cautiously, in case a female was using it to try and break my eardrums.

"Edward Cullen. Jasper, hey. Yes, drinks tonight, at the club. I shall look forward to it. And will the lovely Mrs Whitlock be joining us?"

Apparently not, my sister Alice has some kind of problem with me lately.

Must be PMS, maybe it's contagious because Bella and Jess are both quite out of sorts lately. I didn't realize pregnant women suffered from PMS but Alice definitely did.

I signed off a few contracts and left them on Jessica's desk as I walked out to the elevators.

Emmett, my older brother had just left his office for the night.

"Are you joining Jasper and I for a drink at the club?" I asked.

"I kind of like my balls, so I think I will go straight home to my wife and prevent any chance she will remove them from my body." he answered.

Rose had 'issues' with me as well. Something about me never knowing when to give up and stop flogging a dead horse.

I wish I hadn't thought of flogging, my dick has been copping a lot of flogging since my wife left. Having to depend on your own hand to relieve your needs is somewhat distasteful.

Necessary at the moment, but as soon as she comes to her senses and comes home, I will give her a working out she will not forget in a hurry.

Jasper had a drink waiting for me. Men are such reasonable creatures, it's really a shame women are so volatile and unreasonable.

"So, was the sweet Bella in today?" he asked.

"She was, It was lovely to see her. I like her in blue." I reflected, thinking of the midnight blue silk blouse she had worn.

"Still wants the divorce?" he questioned.

"Yes, she is still being silly, but she will come to her senses." I said assuredly.

It's only a matter of time.

"Edward, have you even considered it might be the best for both of you? You two have had some stormy years, maybe it's time to move on to calmer waters."

"Nonsense, Jasper. Neither of us drowned in the storms, so I don't see the problem myself."

"You don't think you are being unreasonable at all?" he suggested.

"Jasper, that's women's talk. Get out amongst men more, you sound like Alice. How is my sister?"

"Batshit crazy." he answered.

"So, no change there. How much longer?"

"Another five weeks the doctor estimates. I can't wait for the little parasite to get the hell out and stop making her insane. Pregnancy can be very hard on a man, Edward. I don't know why you are so keen to inflict it on yourself and Bella."

"I had a dog once, Jasper. You remember Molly? Crazy as a cut snake until she had her first litter, then she was as docile...I let her sleep on the foot of my bed. Do you remember that?"

He nodded.

"I'm just hoping the child isn't as crazy as the mother." Jasper confessed. Alice had never been particularly easy to live with, God knows I was glad to leave for college and get the heck away from her when she hit puberty. I thought Jasper a very brave and courageous man for taking her on. I did warn him when they got engaged, that his life would change forever if he went through with the wedding, and not for the better but his brain had been scrambled by sex and he practically ran her down the aisle.

At least Bella and I had been together since Junior year in High School and understood each other. Loved each other.

That hasn't changed mind you, she is just being hysterical.

A man can go out and have a few drinks with other women when he is married, it is not breaking any vows, and her accusations I was cheating on her were clearly unfounded and ridiculous. So what if Kandi and Roxy were strippers, everyone needs a job. I may have pushed my luck staying out all night, that was a mistake, I admit that. And confessing I fell asleep in a strip club and spent the night in a private room out the back, not a smart move. But I had not touched any of those strippers, I merely paid to use the room for sleep. I was in no condition to drive home and I didn't want to wake my wife to get her to leave her bed and come get me. It was a perfectly reasonable thing to do. It was Jasper's bachelor party and Alice didn't even ask him where he had spent the night. And Rose knew where Emmett was, she was sitting on his lap most of the night, she could have vouched for me. I mean, some women are just mean. One little comment about her backside getting wider and she refuses to back up my story to Bella, tells me to cook in my own juices.

"Don't look now but Romeo and Juliet just walked in." warned Jasper.

Of course, I looked and the sight of Bella on his arm made me see red. Jackass, what does she see in the big, empty headed buffoon?

I mean, his suit is clearly off the rack. I can't believe she has lowered her standards so much.

I ordered drinks to be sent over to their table then approached so they could thank me.

"Good evening Felix, wife, how are you tonight?"

"Edward, go away." Bella rudely replied.

"Edward, are you ever going to sign those papers?" Felix asked. Seeing he did so politely, I answered.

"No. Never."

"We can just live in sin, you know." Bella piped up.

"I'm sure you know all about sin, being a married woman out fucking someone other than her husband." I replied.

Felix frowned.

"Edward, we haven't actually..."

"We have, shut up, don't give him the satisfaction." she ordered.

I cupped her pretty face in my hands.

"I would love some satisfaction, maybe you could drop in on the way home and see to your wifely duties. Felix won't mind waiting in the car."

I turned and walked back to Jasper, who was redfaced and trying not to laugh.

He grabbed his phone.

"Alice, yes my sweet, I am on my way. See you soon. No, I love you more."

I managed not to barf and ordered another drink.

Bella and Felix were having one of those quiet arguments where you hiss and pretend to be not fighting but I saw it for what it was, and he stomped out angrily in the end so I went to sit with my wife, seeing Jasper had run home like a faithful well trained puppy.

I handed her another drink, a double, maybe not a good idea for her but I like the effect alcohol has on her, and sure enough, she was quite relaxed after she finished it and the alcohol hit her blood stream.

"Edward, I really like you, you know." she drawled, and almost fell as she tried to put her elbows on the table.

"I know you do, my sweet."

"Then let's get married." she slurred.

"We are married." I pointed out.

Time to cut her off. I took her hand and helped her stand up, and led her to my car, catching her each time she started falling. I would never let my Bella fall.

I poured her in and strapped the seatbelt around her and smiled as she snored quietly as we drove home. I carried her inside and made her more comfortable by removing those restricting clothes, lay her in our bed, and took my suit off and hung it up in my walk in closet.

Wearing just my boxers, I slid in beside her and wrapped my body around hers, and watched her sleep. She was really fighting me, I truly expected the whole fight to last a week at best, but she had stayed away for five long months and it was no longer amusing. I want her home where she belongs.

I buried my nose in her hair and kissed her neck and breathed her in.

Next thing I was awoken as she stumbled to the bathroom, I hurried in behind to hold her hair up out of the way, barf in hair is always hard to remove.

Bella sunk to the ground and hugged the toiletbowl tightly as she threw up the contents of her stomach and I felt bad for buying her all those drinks but it was the only way to bring her home to me.

Once she was done, I handed her a glass of water and a toothbrush and she cleaned her mouth and teeth, then sat on the side of the bath and hung her head.

"Would you like to go back to bed?" I asked her quietly.

She jerked her head up then grabbed it with both hands and moaned.

"Don't." she ordered herself.

I helped her stand and walked her back to bed and covered her up against the morning cold.

"We didn't..." she waved a hand between us.

"We did, I am sad you have forgotten." I answered. Well, we did, many times, just not for the past five months. She hadn't specified a date.

"Unfair, Edward, I was drunk."

"Bella, if we had slept together you would remember no matter how drunk you were." I assured her and sat on the bed.

"Come home." I asked her quietly.

"Admit you had sex with hookers." she said sweetly.

"Strippers, and I didn't." I replied.

"Then, until you confess, I am not coming back."

"So, if I lie and say I did, you will come home?" I asked.

"If you admit you did, and you are really sorry, I may consider it." she replied.

I should just lie and say I did, but I didn't.

"I suppose I could admit I wish I had if it is the only way to get you back." I offered.

"You really didn't?" she questioned.

"Nope." I answered. "I had drunk enough to keep a small brewery in profit for a year and I couldn't make it to the car, let alone drive. The only beds in the place are in the private rooms at the back so I paid for 5 hours, and I slept it off, alone."

"Why won't Rose admit that?" she asked.

"I may have said that red dress makes her ass look gigantic." I admitted and Bella laughed.

"Edward, I love you." she admitted so I climbed back into bed and rubbed my hands down her sides.

"You can claim your marital rights." she sighed as she stretched and her breasts came out from under the covers and begged me to lick them.

I did, I have never ignored an order from her breasts.

I cupped them in my hands and kissed her with all the love I had been saving for the past five months.

She wriggled beneath me and pawed at my boxers so I let them slide down and kicked them off with my feet and lay beside her.

"You probably don't want my weight on top of you after that session with the porcelain." I suggested and she rolled so her back was to me, and raised her uppermost leg so I had access to the holy grail. I pushed inside and reached for her breasts and massaged them gently as I thrust in and out of her body.

"So, did you and Felix have sex or not?" I asked.

"Not," she replied.

"Why not?" I asked, nibbling her earlobe.

"Because I would never sleep with anyone else." she answered.

"Well, you had better move back in, you know you don't enjoy abstinence." I reminded her.

"Okay, but only for the sex." she replied.

"I can live with that." I answered and held her tightly.

"Edward, did you use a condom?" she questioned.

"Nope." I answered.

"Oh." she replied and kept pressing back as I rocked into her.

"Do you want me to pull out beforehand ?" I offered.

"Nah. Whatever will be, will be." she replied.

She rocked harder against me and I felt myself start to come undone.

"Bellaaaa." I cried.

I shot my load inside her and held her tightly as her walls pulsed around me.

God, this was so good.

"Promise me you will never leave me again." I insisted and she frowned and considered it.

"Promise you will never sleep in a brothel again." she counter offered.

"A strip club, woman, it's not a brothel." I corrected her again.

"So, you have been in enough of each to know the difference?"

"Yes, I have. Now shut up and let me kiss you." I ordered.

"Edward, you have never told me how many women you have been with since you started having sex." she said.

"No, I haven't." I agreed.

"So, how many?" she asked.

I put my head on the side and considered. She was crazy, other than this little misunderstanding, we had never been apart since we were sixteen and we were each others firsts for everything, including sex.

"Six."

"What are their names?" she asked.

"Bella the Virgin,Bella the Beautiful, Bella the Angry, Bella the Crazy Bitch, Bella the Love of My Life, Bella my wife."

"Useful that, only sleeping with women named Bella." she quipped.

"At least when I call out her name I always get it right." I said, and pulled her back towards me.


End file.
